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The cure is definitely simple, with a LITTLE work. In 1970 we were on a hunt for it. Dr. Fritz Perls** was one of the psychiatrists on the front line in this quest. He had a simple concept with Freudian roots, at that time many New Age practitioners including myself were on this quest.  First, some basic foundation to the approach: It's VERY important to understand that you do not need to allow anyone's expectations to RULE your life; as an example, and to paraphrase one of Dr. Perls sayings; “You be you, and if you like blue that's your business; however; since you like blue and I like you I might get you something blue someday but I don't have too”, and of course vise-versa. Take your time with yourself and learn about all aspects of YOUR body-mind-spirit.  The Goddesses, God(s), the “Great What I Am” or whatever label you wish to use; even if you do not believe in GOD, you still have this conscious capability to CHANGE. We either wear it as a burden or celebrate our freedom of conscience. My father used to say at times "hey stupid”  “just follow your nose and you will know what is right and wrong”. It is very important to be graceful to yourself and move slowly to YOUR ideal image.


I worked with a brilliant student of Dr.  Perls, Dr. Sasha Alex Lessin, who conducted many Gestalt sessions in Hawaii that I attended. I  learned and contributed with my discoveries also, and he relayed these findings to Perls (unbeknownst to me until many years later, more on this later in another Blog). Subsequently 13 years later I substantiated my findings experimentally while volunteering at a hot-line in Houston.  In 1970 we were beating on pillows and taking both sides of a most personal argument with a significant other, or dealing with internal personal issues in role playing very emotionally HELPFUL, however, IT WAS NOT CURATIVE.  


There are two simple elements to the “CURE". One “successive approximation***,” small steps. Go slow with yourself, do not expect fast progress. But I assure you it will definitely come with consistent practice “Work” as many will say. How simple is this first step? 


Secondly “mindfulness”**** be in your moments. In 1970 I got a list of emotions and practiced in sitting meditation; easy ideations, blue skies, waterfalls, body surfing, things I enjoyed, etc. then  added more difficult ones like, anger, hate, jealousy, these same thoughts/emotions, in meditations, while walking down the street, while sitting, talking with another, etc. Practicing the ability to change my emotional states. While talking with others I would try my best to stay in my mindful center and not let their emotional path steer me away from my truthful/mindfulness, (a very important state for a want-to-be therapist). Yet, actively caring and listening and following good active listening ***** methods and companionship practices.Thus, gaining more control over my emotional states. LOVELY. Practice choosing your own purposeful mindful state. SO important, be in YOUR moment. So thus with these two companions, slow approximation and mindfulness, I became more aware of myself and sharing with others allowing both of us to grow without judgment.


So at 25 I had 2 major personnel problems. 1. I was commiting  slow suicide smoking cigarettes. I had a habit of 20 a day for 3 years. 2. I WAS ACTUALLY contemplating suicide. So here's what I did. I dropped one cig for 7 days. Wow I was a CHAMP, EASY. So then dropped 2 for 5 days, EASY. Then 5 and I could not handle it. I dropped back  to 4. I simply went too fast (remember “successive approximation”) and in about 45 days I conquered the habit. Now I tried to stay away from circumstances that were tempting, like having a beer with those that smoked, staying upwind with others that smoked, etc. So I proved it to myself that my personal God allows me the freedom and I made MY choice. Then I conquered the big one, the desire to commit suicide. In meditation I consciously emphasize AN PURPOSELY ACCENTUATED the desire to commit suicide, this totally scared me. How could I be so selfish, potentially damaging my family history, and resulting pain and disappointment etc. I did this again in meditation about a week later and I was essentially cured of this desire. These results were reported back to Dr. Perls via Dr. Sasha, Alex Lisson, Phd. Gestalt therapist. 


Thirteen years later I was in Houston and joined a hotline and I approached the manager and said I would like to do an experiment that would help to substantiate my study. The manager was very interested and said “folks were killing themselves so of course proceed”.  So “Joe Blow '' usually “Mary Jane '' would call in, Joe typically wanted to commit suicide by shooting him self, Mary Jane wanted to slit her wrist, because she was being raped and beaten for years. I would listen intently, then I would share with them the approach I have delineated above and here is what would happen. Ten percent would hang up. I don’t believe they when out to commit suicide, they just realized how simple this real was. 80% would talk just for a little bit and thank me. The other 10% would call back the next day with some questions. In my mind I proved the theory in my informal experiment.  I understand that this informal experiment that I performed; has been conducted more formally and proved more substantially using proper methodology, since then. Please know that I believe this method in general is applicable for whatever YOU wish to work on and is a life-long process, it is for me also. Blessings and good will to all. If you have any questions please feel free to call or text me at 512-680-4952.


* kimo is Jim or James in Hawaiian









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